Family Rifts

Years ago...many, many years ago...one of my brothers and I had a rift.  You would think that out of my three younger brothers, the one that was right underneath me would have been the one that I had the most enduring relationship with.  He was the one that took the trips with me to our grandparents farm every summer; and it was him that stayed by my side when we made these trips.  I made sure that he was safe...made sure he was cared for...and overall, just enjoyed being in his company even if at times, he could work that last nerve.

Yet, as we grew older, we drifted apart.  It was something that wasn't planned...it just happened.  At eighteen, I left home.  I wanted to find myself.  I needed to find out who I was and discover what life held for me.  Later, he told me that he resented being thrust into the position of being the "man of the house".  I remember that while we were having this conversation and he conveyed to me what had been bothering him for years, I couldn't help but wonder who he thought played the role of the man of the house before the role had been thrust upon him.  I suppose we both should have been angry with our father since the role clearly belonged to him, and he should have been there to lead, watch over and care for his family.  As true as that is, I'll save that topic for another conversation.  It would take too long to tackle that within the parameters of this blog.

The point is, my younger brother and I drifted apart to the point of hostility, and it took years before we were able to make our way back to one another.  I know now that his reasoning for being upset with me wasn't because of the perception that he had a role thrust upon him that he didn't want.  If that had been the case, it would have been simple to solve.  It was more complicated than that...and one day, I'll share that with you as well.  I guarantee that it will make for an interesting read as well as discussion.

The point is that brothers drift apart, and if they're lucky, they may find themselves back together again enjoying the brotherly bond that they once shared when they were children.  My brothers know that I love them.  I am fortunate enough to enjoy a distinctively different relationship with each of them..but each one reflects that bond that I believe most brothers share, and if they don't, they should.  There's a reason why they say "blood is thicker than water."  


But since we're human and humans being the imperfect creatures that they are are prone to mistakes and shortcomings.  They say things that inflict pain...hold on to petty grudges, and can make life pretty miserable for one another.


As you read "Meeting of the Minds", you'll see the Whitfield Brothers at their best, and their worst.  Men are men.  They "flex" up on each other when it isn't needed only to love each other in the end.  Here is a rift very similar to the one that I experienced with my own brother...a rift that has finally been healed.