Have we taken competition too far?

Times are tough for most people in our society.  The recovery from the near collapse of our economy still has many of us reeling.  People are still looking for work.  People are still struggling and many of us are still hurting financially.  Businesses that advertise for an open position get bombarded with applicants almost as if they were chumming the waters with blood and bait.  And we as the ones that are still feeling the sting of an economy desperately trying to reclaim what it once was clamor for those positions, sometimes climbing on top of one another in the hopes of landing a preliminary interview.

Is it really that bad?  Ask anyone that has been out of work longer than a year and he or she will tell you:  Yes.  It is that bad.

And as I type this, I can't help but think to myself that things are no better in the literary industry.  Talented unknowns fight to keep their dream alive.  They hope to become the next best selling author or authoress.  They launch their book tours and conduct book signings all in the hopes that their work will become validated in the eyes of the literary world.

One thing that we all understand is that the competition is great.  You can have the best written manuscript in the world, but if no one knows about it, it will remain exactly that...a well written manuscript.

Indeed, the competition is so great that the only thing the average author can focus on is their particular project...not that there is anything wrong with that.  But at some time, you will have to come out of your own shell and look at the world around you.  At some point, you will be forced to look at who is selling what and try to determine what it is that they are doing right and what you're doing wrong.  Unfortunately, some authors can't see outside of their own projects and become so self absorbed that they miss the mark completely.  Wouldn't you want to know why someone sold fifty copies of their book when you only managed to sell four?  I know that I would.  As an author, it's my job to keep my finger on the pulse of what's going on in the literary community...and the job force.

Have we really taken the spirit of competition too far?  Well, as far as the literary community goes, you have to know what's going on.  With technology forcing us to change the way we do business, authors are forced to re-evaluate what is important to them.  Their forced to re-evaluate strategies.  Nothing wrong with competition there.

But in the job market; until the economy comes back in full force and everyone once again has equal access to obtaining the American Dream, I'm afraid that it's everyone man and woman for themselves.

"Without Permission" by Sharon R. Wells

The fury over the child sex-abuse allegations that rocked the Penn State campus here in Philadelphia is starting to fade away.  Well, maybe not fade away as much as I've just decided to shift my attention to the victims of this crime.  I keep wondering what life is going to be like for the victims.  I wonder how long their recovery process is going to take.  How much of their personalities have changed and what will they become as they move into adulthood?

One of the things that I know for a fact is that once a child is touched, who they are has been forever altered and what was lost can't be recovered.  One of the problems that I see is that shame keeps the child from telling anyone what has happened to them.  But one of the things that most people don't know is that sex abuse changes who the child would have been; but since no one knows who the child would have become they think that whoever the child is at the moment is normal...whether that child becomes promiscuous, addicted to drugs and alcohol or is just plain dysfunctional.  And lets not go into the trust issues.

Author Sharon R. Wells takes you into her world of recovery and redemption.  She describes her abuse which started at the age of eight and takes you into her life as it spiraled out of control.  Her book is a must read for anyone that has been abused and doesn't quite know how to negotiate the waters to healing.




To purchase her book, please go to:


www.angelwingspublications.com




 

What do you do with the naysayers?

I've listened to naysayers (or dream stealers for lack of a better word). I didn't succumb to their words...or rather, I did until I chose not to.  You have enough doubt in yourself without having to hear it from anyone else...especially if you are venturing into the unknown. I've heard it time and time again at different intervals in my life.  I remember when I was a teenager, hanging out at a friend of mines house and her aunt saying to me "Jerry, you ain't nuthin' and you're never gonna be nuthin'"  I laughed it off at the time because I knew where the words were coming from, and it didn't have as much to do with me as it did what I represented to her.  But it didn't matter.  Her words still stung, and it resonated with me.  Obviously it did because here I am many years out of being a teen and I can still hear those words as if she said it to me a few hours ago.

I know that there are many of you that deal with this very scenario day in and day out.  People will tell you that you can't do something and you're left wondering to yourself, "Well, why can't I?"  Sometimes, it's your parents that are the naysayers.  Sometimes it's your friends.  It may even be someone that you're having a close, intimate relationship with.  So what do you do?  What happens when you have a dream and someone is constantly whispering in your ear telling you that you can't do it?

Well, you can figure out what your options are.  Is it money or lack thereof?  Will your dream mean giving up more practical things like keeping a roof over your head and eating?  Some people will say that it is all of those things...and I get it.  In one article that I published a few months ago, I addressed that very topic...Do you live your dream...or look for work?

But I'm getting off topic here.  What happens when someone whose friendship you value tells you in plain language that what you want to do can't be done?  Or rather, it can't be done by YOU?  Do you listen to that person?  Do you take it to heart?  You can, but ultimately, it's your dream, and part of your inalienable right to having a dream is protecting it.  It doesn't matter how outlandish it sounds.  It doesn't matter how crazy it may seem to you or other people.  Consider who the naysayer is and where the negativity is coming from, and then you decide for yourself.  Be realistic with yourself.  If you're in your late 30's and want to be a pro basketball player, you may want to trade that idea for something that is more attainable.  That's what I mean by being realistic.  But if your dream is to start your own business or write that next novel...I say go for it.  Keep the naysayers at bay.  Listen to your gut.

Sometimes, you may want to tell that person.."I hear what you're saying and I appreciate it, but I'm going to listen to this voice over here!!"

When you realize that it's not always about you

Recently, I started networking with other authors as well as people that are in the literary community.  I wanted to find out about their work, what makes it special and if I could provide a little bit of publicity to help them along the way to achieving their dream.  The response was amazing.  I got the chance to talk to others not only about their work and what makes it unique, I started to lay the ground work for making a respected name for myself in the literary industry.

I figured that since I wrote for a national publication, maybe I could expound upon what I have already done for some of my local authors in the surrounding Philadelphia, New Jersey and Delaware areas. I've come to understand that this industry isn't about me and my creative talents.  It's about everyone that has embarked on this journey to being recognized for the contributions that they make to the industry; both financially and emotionally.

It feels good when someone tells you that you've put out work that is in demand...especially if the compliment is sincere.

The thing that I have to remember is that I have to be the change that I want to see in the world (I read that as a quote somewhere).  I have to let others shine...even if their light is brighter than mine.  Now because I have an ego, that won't always be easy to do, but it can be done.

Later on in this blog, I will start including the works of other authors because I believe that everyone deserves the chance to have their talents showcased.  Most authors have found out that it is extremely hard to obtain press coverage.  It's even more difficult to have your work recognized for what it is. 

But wouldn't it be nice if everyone had the chance to have their fifteen minutes of fame?

The Hard Part

I've waded through the pool of creating a story that would hopefully be both entertaining as well as possessing a certain redemptive quality that would set it apart from other books in the contemporary fiction genre.

I've been picked up by a publisher, made mistakes; signed with another, made more mistakes and decided to do this all on my own.  I lost alot of money in selecting the wrong people to provide services of which they couldn't deliver...and through it all, I still remain standing.  Barely.

The hard part about this industry is not knowing where to go or who to trust to get things done besides yourself.  Negotiating the waters of the creative world is one riddled with dues-paying, and more dues-paying.

When I started blogging about my journey into becoming a successful author, I promised that I wouldn't leave out any details although sometimes, I'm tempted to edit out the not so good parts.  Sometimes it just feels easier that way.

But today, I have to admit, I'm feeling the pinch.  I stll believe that I'm blessed, but it seems like everything that I've gone through so far was easy compared to what I have ahead of me.

Marketing has always been challenging...well, that is, if you don't have the expertise of a marketing team behind you.  I took on a publicist...a good one.  One that I thought would get me the signings and in-store placements that I desired.  I'm realizing now that even the best of publicist can't do his/her job efficiently if they don't have all of the resources that they need to do it.  But even more importantly, you as an author or publisher have to have a marketing plan in place, and it's not up to your publicist to create one...at least not completely.

For starters, your book should be available in some type of major distribution database in addition to your own website.  Websites like Amazon and Barnes and Nobel are great, but that alone will not get you the attention that you deserve.  The major distribution database should have some type of marketing team for you, but before you begin to utilize those services, know who you're writing for.  Know your genre.  Your marketing team should be able to map out what stores specialize in your genre and come up with a plan that will help pick up your sales.

Know your market.  Ebooks are on the rise.  People are picking up Nooks, E-Readers and Kindles quickly, and even though it will not replace the hard back or paper back book, you have to remain competitive.  That means converting your book into a PDF or EPUB format so that it can be downloaded onto one of these devices.

Make connections.  Use the social media to your advantage.  Talk to anyone and everyone in the industry because there is no such thing as useless information.  It's all in what you do with the information you obtain.  Research!  Research!  Research!

But back to marketing...it's not as easy as it sounds, and it can be very expensive.  Watch out for companies that will charge you a few thousand dollars for services that you can easily do yourself.  Creating your own blog and "tweeting" your information to your followers is great...a service that you can do by simply conducting a little research. Creating a Twitter, Facebook and Blog are free. Making it work in this field isn't easy.  It's frustrating and thankless at times.

This is what I'm learning.  But you know what?  I'm still writing!

Is perception REALLY 99% reality?

I've become somewhat obsessed with image lately.  I've thought from time to time how the world may view me as opposed to how I view myself...and for good reason.  You never know what's going on in the mind of someone that you've known for years much less the person that you may have just met.  I've been thinking about this lately because gauging people is not my strong suit.  Sometimes I guess...and many times I've been wrong on both the good and the bad.

As I continue to put myself out there and step up my game in the eye of the media, I keep thinking about how I want myself to be perceived.  Recently, I've run into people that I've known for a long time, and I'm still surprised by the responses that I get, which is often different than the one that I initially received.  In making contact with people that I used to work with, I've found that people that I thought were my friends...or even friendly, greet me with a smile that isn't as genuine as I thought it was.  Our conversations are brief.  I tell them how I'm doing; that things are fine and that I'm trying to forge a living doing what I love as opposed to working the traditional 9-5.  I don't know if they think that I'm bragging or that I'm making more out of myself than I really am, but the simple truth is, all I'm doing is trying to get caught up.  Would it be any different if the job that I was doing now were a nine to five?  I don't know.

I ran into a former business associate who talked with me at length.  And for just a moment, it felt so good to relive the good parts of what made our relationship so special.  I thought that maybe we could just put aside our respective differences and start a new friendship; I mean after all, we had a good friendship at one time, didn't we?  To my surprise, there was nothing after the conversation was done.  It was as if we were putting on a facade of "it's-so-good-to-see-you-how-have-you-been?"  Needless to say, we didn't keep in contact...so I let it go.

So what's the deal?  Is perception really 99% reality?  Do we remember the person that we knew as well as the experiences associated with them or do we try to get to know the person that is?  I mean, isn't it true that we aren't the same person that we were six months ago much less six years ago?  And if that's true, do we try to right wrongs and renew friendships, or do we just leave things in the past?

Are people really hard-wired to remember the bad instead of the good?  And if we made a mistake six years ago, is it fair to still be held to that mistake even to this day?  I don't know.  Many of you will probably say that it depends on what was done or said.  Some of you may even think, "why waste your time on the past?  Leave it alone!"

But as I write this, I think, "how do you want to be perceived?"  And then I follow it up with this thought which probably answers the question succinctly: People are always going to think what they want no matter what you do.  If you succeed in what you are trying to accomplish, no matter how many well wishers you have, you're always going to have a small percentage of them saying that you "think you're this or that!"  You can put yourself out there in the best possible light, but sometimes people will only measure by the same gauge that they measure themselves...and you will never know how great or small that gauge may be.

Perception really is 99% reality, but it doesn't have to be your reality.  Let it be theirs if it does you harm.  You can't stop people from thinking what they think...especially if it's negative.  You can only continue to put yourself out there, not make any apologies for who you are especially if it doesn't harm anyone else.  But in the event that you do harm someone else, you can apologize and hope that they put it behind them and see you for who you are as well as who you are trying to become...which hopefully is the best of you, and not the worst of you!

Meeting of the Minds

Meeting of the Minds

When the doorbell rang, Joshua climbed down from the sofa
and raced to the door. Taylor sprinted behind him, scooped him up
in her arms and gave Jai a cautious look. Heʼd spoken to her,
telling her everything that Tim had told him. She listened quietly
but what she wanted to do was tell him what she thought was going
on with Trenace.

After she answered all Marlaʼs questions, she left the police
station feeling more disturbed. She phoned Liza as she drove back
to the office and told her Trenace was officially listed as missing
and that there was an ongoing investigation. She told Liza that she
felt that something bad happened to Trenace. Once she arrived,
she printed a hard copy of the article that Trenace had submitted,
gathered the personal contact information, and dropped everything
off at the police station on her way home from work. That was
three hours ago. Once she arrived at home, Jai told her about
Nate because he wanted her to take the baby into the bedroom
while he, Ryan and Nate talked. He knew there would probably be
a loud argument in their apartment tonight.

Jai stood up from the couch and walked to the front door as
Taylor carried Joshua to their bedroom. He opened the door and
saw Ryan standing there with hands by his side instead of Nate.

“Hey man.” Jai gave Ryan a quick hug.

Ryan returned the hug and patted his brother on his back
quickly and entered the apartment as Jai closed and locked the
door.

“So whatʼs going on?” Ryan asked, removing his leather
jacket. “Does this have anything to do with the phone call that you
made to me the other day?”

Jai nodded, and sat down on the sofa.

“Okay.” Ryan said as he headed toward the kitchen. “Let me
get something to drink and Iʼll be right with you.”
“Be my guest.” Jai sat down. “You have a choice of water,
juice or light beer.” Jai listened to Ryan rummaging in the
refrigerator, finding a light beer. Jai raised an eyebrow as his
brother sat down beside him. “I thought that I would need it.” Ryan
managed a small smile.

“You may, man. You just may.”
“So whatʼs the deal? Whatʼs Nate doing?”
“Selling drugs.”

Ryan looked ahead, focused on nothing in particular. He took
a long swig of his beer and then shook his head slowly.

Jai decided to push on since the news wasnʼt going to get any
better. “Heʼs deep into this Ryan. Itʼs not like heʼs just selling a few
bags of whatever to crackheads. Heʼs a little higher up in the food
chain. Thereʼs someone by the name of Marco Carrera that Nate is
supposed to be working for and this guy is a heavy hitter and he
has a crooked cop trying to bust him. Itʼs just a matter of time
before he winds up in jail or dead.”
“Dead?”
“Thereʼs some kind of drug war heating up where Nate does
his business.”
“And how do you know all of this?”
“One of the partnerʼs at the firm told me. The crooked cop is a
friend of his.”
“And you trust him?”
“Tim has no reason to lie to me.”
“Tim? As in Tim Walsh?” He took another sip of beer and
leaned back into the sofa.
Jai nodded.
“And the crooked cop is his friend?” Ryan asked
disbelievingly.
“Umm hmmm.”
“And you believe him?”
“I met him. Heʼs a real ass. Heʼs got it out for Nate because
he wanted a piece of Nateʼs action and Nate told him ʻno.ʼ”
“So what are we supposed to do?”
“Convince Nate to get out of the business.”

Ryan smirked while shaking his head in disbelief. He took
another sip of his beer and then began to speak.
“You canʼt be serious man. Please tell me youʼre not for real.”
“If dad were alive, he would want us to do this.”

Ryan stood up slowly from the sofa.

“If Dad were alive, Nate wouldnʼt be into this at all.”
“Whatʼs up with that man?” Jai asked. “What do you mean?”
“Nate and Dad were close. Dad would have seen this coming
and he would have nipped it in the bud. He would have made Nate
carry his dumb ass to school and make something of his life.”
“Itʼs that kind of thinking that probably made him turn to that
type of life in the first place.” Jai said with just the slightest hint of
anger in his voice.
“Whatʼs that supposed to mean?”
“Nate wasnʼt the ʻbook-smartʼ type. Calling him a dumb ass
isnʼt going to help the matter any.”
“All Iʼm saying is that weʼre responsible for the choices that we
make. In order to make those choices we have to have the proper
guidance. Dad could influence Nate in a way that Momma never
could.”
“So youʼre saying that Nateʼs being into what heʼs into is Dadʼs
fault; because he wasnʼt here?”
“No, thatʼs not what Iʼm saying. Iʼm saying that if he were
alive, Nate would probably not have chosen the path that heʼs on
right now.”
“I suppose then that he could say the same thing about you.”

Ryan shot him a look of defiance before taking a gulp of beer.

“Being gay and being a thug are two different things! Being gay
isnʼt a choice any more than me having darker skin and brown
eyes.”
“I know Rye.” Jai responded gently. “But some people think
that itʼs about choice. Maybe Nate didnʼt feel as if he had one.
Whatever the reason that heʼs into what heʼs into isnʼt important.
We have to make him let it go.”
“You think heʼs gonna listen to us?”
“Anything is a start. He has to know that we care and that we
have his back. I think that Dad wouldʼve wanted us to do this. Isnʼt
that what being brotherʼs is all about?”
“Itʼs about a lot of things Jai.” Ryan scratched his head
absently. “I donʼt know man. Yeah, Dad wouldʼve wanted us to
unite and pull him out of dealing, but letʼs keep it real, Nateʻs a
grown man just like we are. Heʼs gonna do what he wants to do no
matter what we say.”
“We still have to try.”

For about a minute, the room was completely silent. Jai stared
at Ryan and then looked at the clock on the DVD player.

“Whatʼre you thinking?” Jai asked as Ryan sat down on the
sofa.
“Iʼm thinking about when times were good like when Dad was
alive and when we used to clown on each other.” He looked over
at his brother. “Every now and again, I miss those times.”

Jai nodded sadly.

“Me too.” He murmured. “Remember when he used to give us
money and send us to the Esquire movie theatre on Sundays?”
“Yeah.” Ryan said and managed a small smile. “We saw
Shaft, Cleopatra Jones, Sheba Baby and Coffy.”
“Mom used to get pissed because we were only supposed to
see the matinee and always wound up seeing the main feature.
She was never down for us seeing anything rated ʻRʼ.”
“She still isnʼt.” And then they both chuckled lightly
“Tell me something Jai. How did we drift so far apart?”

Jai looked down at the plush carpeting before rising to his feet,
crossing the room and turning on the stereo. “Weʼre not as far
apart as you may think. If we were, then we wouldnʼt be here now.”
“Nateʼs not here yet though.”
“He will be. My gut tells me that heʼll show. We donʼt break
promises to each other. You want another beer?”
“Sounds good.”
“You know, he came by my office today.” Jai said heading
toward the small kitchen. “He probably already knows that we
know.”
“And whyʼs that?”
“He wants me and Tim to stop talking to Prescott.”
“Who the hell is Prescott?”
“Prescott is the crooked cop.” Jai said returning to the living
room holding two open bottles of beer. “It came out like a threat
but he wants us to stop dealing with Prescott. Heʼs going to have
to explain that one.” He handed Ryan one of the bottles, and then
lifted the other to his lips.

“And what about this drug war that you mentioned earlier?
Whatʼs up with that, Jai?”
“From what I understand, this guy Marco Carrera is supposed
to be a heavy hitter in the trade. I donʼt know how big he is but I
get the impression that heʼs pretty high up. He and some Italian fat
cat are getting ready to go to war but I donʼt know why.”
“Money probably.” Ryan said. “And I think that the term that
youʼre looking for is drug lord.”
“Drug lord?”

Ryan nodded.

“This doesnʼt look good. But I guess we wonʼt know anything
really until we talk to Nate. Heʼs the only one that can tell us who
these people are.” He took a sip of his beer and fondled his finely
contoured beard. “Thatʼs assuming that he will. Donʼt be surprised
if he doesnʼt.”
“And so what is this? Meeting of the minds?” The female
voice asked from across the room.

Jai and Ryan turned their attention to the doorway that led into
Joshuaʼs room. Taylor stood there with her arms folded across her
chest.

“I figured that it was safe since I didnʼt hear any shouting or
furniture being moved.” She entered the room, but not before
Joshua shot around and past her, heading straight for Ryan. Ryan
stood, picked him up and raised Joshua above his head. Joshua
giggled as his uncle lowered him to his face and planted a kiss on
his cheek. “Whatʼs up Lil Man?” He said, and set him down on the
floor.
“Mommy wuz readinʼ a stowy.” He pointed toward Taylor.
“Yeah. Iʼm reading him a story, watching a video of Sponge
Bob and playing a game, in five minutes flat.” Taylor walked over
to Ryan and hugged him. “How are you, Jaiʼs brother?”
“Pretty good….and you, Jaiʼs lover?” He pushed her away
from him, holding her at armʼs length and then reached down and
took her left hand.

It took her a second or two before she realized that he was
looking at her ring finger.

“Sweet.” Ryan said, admiring the ring. “Love the way it
sparkles.” He looked back at Jai. “You got good taste in jewelry
Dawg!”
“You better believe it.” Jai smiled broadly.

The doorbell ringing sounded through the apartment,
momentarily silencing everyone. Ryan shrugged his shoulders and
then started towards the front door.

“Letʼs get this party started.” He said more to himself than
anyone else, not realizing that Joshua was tagging along behind
him.
“Hey Little Man!” Taylor called.

Joshua stopped in his tracks, turned to look at Taylor just as
Ryan opened the front door. Nate stood in the outer hallway; the
outside light glinting from his head as he stepped around Ryan
without saying a word.

“Unca Nate!” Joshua raced to him. Nate picked him up with a
smile, gave him a quick kiss and then put him back down. “Whatʼs
up Shorty?” He sounded as if he were genuinely glad to see him.
“Fine. Mommy wuz readinʼ a stowy ta me.” He turned his face
up to him and smiled.
“Come on Joshua. Back to the room.” Taylor extended her
hand to him as she cut her eyes to Nate. “Hi Nate.”

Nate nodded his head at her just as Joshua took her hand and
they walked back into his bedroom. Taylor closed the door
soundlessly behind her.

For a moment, the three of them just looked at each other
without saying a word. Nate looked down at the floor and then
directly at Jai.
“You think about what I said?” He said with finality.
“You want something to drink?” Jai asked.
“Naw. Look, I just wanted to make sure that you took what I
asked you earlier today to heart.”
“Who is Marco Carrera?” Jai asked from his seat on the sofa.
“And you might as well take off your coat and sit down because this
is going to be a long session.”
“What the fuck is this, some cross examination?” Nate almost
recoiled. “Look, I just came to say what I had to say and then Iʼm
out.”
“No.” Jaiʼs voice came out so calm that Ryan had to look at
him. “No, youʼre not going to bounce. We got some business to
discuss.”
“No business that concerns me.”
“You donʼt think so? Why donʼt you tell me who Prescott is?
And while youʼre at it, you might as well tell me who Carrera is.
And when you do, donʼt stop there; tell me what you do for a living.”
“All you got to know is that you got to leave Prescott alone.
Thatʼs all Iʼve got to say on that, yaʻnoʼ what I mean?” But he had
said the last part of his sentence so quick that it sounded like “nawha-
I-mean”.
“Fuck it!” Ryan interjected. “Nate, are you dealinʼ?”

Nate cut his eyes at him for a second but didnʼt say a word.
Instead, he turned his attention back to Jai. “Jai, leave Prescott the
fuck alone before you get hurt! Iʼm serious!”
“Whoʼs gonna hurt me? Prescott or Carrera?”
“Itʼs not just you weʼre talking about.”
“Are we talking about Tim, Taylor, Joshua, Momma…What?
Whoʼs gonna get hurt and by whom? Because, if you donʼt start
answering some questions, then Iʼm going to go right down to
Prescottʼs office and ask him. Iʼm sure heʼll tell me what I need to
know.”

Nate stood in silence, his hands by his side, but he was
clenching his teeth. Ryan could see his jaw muscles working
overtime.

“Look Nate, weʼre here because we want to let you know that
weʼre family and weʼre here.” Ryan said in a controlled tone.
Nate ignored Ryan completely.
“Heʼs right you know.” Jai said without standing. “If you canʼt
depend on family, then who can you depend on?”

Nate chuckled to himself. Ryan and Jai looked at each other
as his chuckle became a low laugh.
“Did I say something funny?” Jai asked.
“What kind of shit are you trying to hit me with? What are we,
the fuckinʼ Brady Bunch now? You want to play ʻDadʼ now?” He
began to laugh. “Aw shit! Thatʼs fuckinʼ funny!”
“Why donʼt you let us in on the joke?” Jai said, annoyed.
“Look man, just stay away from Prescott. I did what I said that
I was gonna do. I came by here, now I gotta go!”
“So family is funny to you?” Ryan almost demanded. “Blood
donʼt mean anything?”
“You know what, fuck you Ryan! Mind your fuckinʼ business
before I slap you like one of my hoes!”
“If you think you can do it…” Ryan extended his arms to either
side of him. “The only thing between us is air brutha! Take your
best shot!”

Jai leapt up from the sofa and stood between them.

“This is not what weʼre supposed to be doing!” He said
quickly. “And nobody is swinging in my house unless itʼs me! Do
both of you understand that!”
“Hey, you know, fuck you too Jai!” Nateʼs voice began to rise
with anger. “You want to sit here and play big brother when you
havenʼt played that role in over ten fuckinʼ years! Fuck you and that
little bitch over there!”

Ryan took two steps towards Nate who didnʼt move an inch.
Jai blocked him, staring him in the face. “We arenʼt doing this
today!” Jai said low and evenly and then turned to Nate. “I donʼt
know what your problem is man. Most folks would really appreciate
having someone have their back and here you have your family
telling you to your face that theyʼre gonna be there for you no
matter what!”
“No! What youʼre trying to do is get in my business! What you
forget is that Daddy is dead! And when he died, so did your role as
a brother! Donʼt talk to me about family! Where the fuck were you
when all the shit was going on around me!”
“What the hell are you talkinʼ about?” Now it was Jaiʼs turn to
get pissed.
“You were never there! Never! You were always too fuckinʼ
busy! You didnʼt give two shits about family then…so donʼt start
talkinʼ this family bullshit now!” He whirled on Ryan. “And you,
suckinʼ dick and tellinʼ everybody like you proud of that shit!! Like
itʼs normal! Well fuck both yaʼll!” He turned to walk towards the
front door.

Jai grabbed him by the elbow. “Just like that! You want to
walk out, just say what you want and thatʼs the end of it? What
about you?”
“What about me?!”
“Maybe we make mistakes but, it isnʼt like weʼre the only ones
that made them! You make them too! We all do!”
“Yeah? Well, I ainʼt makinʼ no mistake now! Get the fuck off
me and do as I told you!”
“You know, I always thought that you were an asshole!” Ryan
said as Nate whipped the door open. “This just confirms it!”

Nate snatched his arm away from Jai and stormed from the
apartment. Ryan and Jai looked at each other and took a moment
to cool down. Jai closed the apartment door slowly.

“That went well.” Ryan said, as he crossed the room to seat
himself on the sofa.