Why is it so tough to talk about gay?

I was sitting at my table at the Collingswood Book Fair a few weeks ago with my publicist beside me.  A woman approached our table and initiated a conversation with my publicist.  China (my publicist) began telling the woman about the story including describing the characters.  When she got to the character of Ryan, the woman looked at both of us and began to shake her head.


"Now see!" She said quickly, "Why do you have to talk about that!  I'm sick of that!  Why does that have to be in the story?"


China answered the woman's question by stating that the character of Ryan is gay, and that gay people exist.
The woman looked at both of us again and said, "I know that but why does the story have to be about that?  We hear it all the time.  I'm tired of reading about it!"


The first thought that came to my mind was, "Well, don't buy the book if you feel that strongly about it!"  Instead, what I said to her was, "Well, you know that gay people exist.  The character wasn't created to upset anyone or jump on a 'gay bandwagon'.  It's just life."


Gay people are part of society...always have been and always will be.  So what's the problem?  Why does it upset some people when the very mention of the LGBT community pops up?  I never understood it.  When
Ryan was created, I wanted to bring some issues to light that maybe a small part of our population don't know.  For starters, Ryan hid from himself.  Or rather, he didn't know that he was gay all of his life.  He had a girlfriend whom he loved but for reasons that are revealed later in the story, she leaves him.  It wasn't because he was on the "DL" or had cheated on her.  I think that when you see gay men depicted in movies or on some television shows, the character may in some scenarios be on the "Down Low" and that he is perhaps stigmatized as a person that doesn't have high moral character.  I wanted to take Ryan's character and remove that stigmatization.  I wanted to paint him as the man that he is: someone that wants to give love as well as receive it.  He wants to share his life with someone that loves God as much as he does.  That is his valueset.  That's who is and that's the type of family that he comes from.


He has a closefriend named Tamra that loves him deeply.  They share an intimate, non-sexual relationship that at times may be confusing to her as much as it may be to him.  But they love one another and their friendship is built on honesty.


So what is it about gay people that some heterosexual people find so disturbing?  Why is the very subject of man loving man so challenging for folks to wrap their heads around?  I wish I had an answer.  All I can do is raise some issues and bring people into the mindset of the character Ryan Whitfield.  Maybe through him, you'll find some answers.  And even better, maybe those answers may make sense.