Tuesday, November 13, 2012

When will domestic abuse end


This is an article that I wrote and posted in my column on The Examiner website!  This is crazy!  When will men understand that no matter how beautiful the woman, if she's not happy with you, there are other women out there???

 Victim - Sarah Coit

Place where her murder took place



Another woman’s life has ended way too soon.  Another family mourns and repeatedly asks themselves “why?”  The sad part is, there are no answers.  That brings little comfort to the Coit family.

On Sunday, April 10, 2011, 23 year old Sarah Coit was brutally murdered by her boyfriend, then 33 year old Raul Barrera.  Neighbors were awakened at two a.m. by the screams of the young Hunter College graduate who had been looking forward to beginning a career in Marketing and Advertising…a career that would never come to fruition.

Allegedly, Ms. Coit had wanted to end the relationship between her and the live-in boyfriend when the violence erupted.  Barrera had gone to the kitchen to retrieve several knives from a butcher block utensil holder.  His assault took the victim by complete surprise. He admits to cutting her mouth on both sides of her face so that she resembled a grotesque version of “The Joker” from the movie version of Batman.  He stabbed her multiple times, nearly decapitating her.  The crime scene was too grisly for even the most hardened detectives.  And the reason for the assault was what many women fear the most when ending a relationship.  “If I can’t have you then nobody will.”

Barrera faces a maximum of 25 years to life. The hearing also creates a substantial record of the murder, which can be used against Barrera if he appeals or when he's up for parole.
Barrera's lawyer has said his client suffers from "emotional disturbances" and is expected to argue for a lowered sentence based on his mental health problems.

Last week Barrera pleaded guilty to Coit’s murder. Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Richard Carruthers presided over that plea as well as the two-day pre-sentencing hearing that concluded on Monday.

Barrera will find out the sentence for his crime on October 29, and is expected to receive anything from 15 years to life in prison. The killer is hoping his mental state and his guilty plea will earn him a lesser sentence.

But it seems to me that his mental state at the time of the murder wasn’t the issue at hand.  It appears to be something just a bit more simplistic yet even more terrifying.  Ms. Coit by all accounts was a stunningly beautiful young woman.  Mr. Barrera couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else having what he at one time had.  It was easier to kill her in a fit of rage and jealousy than to let her go.  But now that this horrific act has been done, what happens to him?  His life is ruined.  Will anyone feel pity for him?  Probably not.  And why should they?  Another young woman will never know the meaning of true love.  She will never marry…never have children…never be a grandparent.  Who knows what contributions Sarah Coit would have made to society?

So when will some men wake up and realize that there are other women out there?  If she is not happy with you, then you can’t possibly be happy either.  If you have to force someone to be with you then it isn’t love…its domination.

I’ve written too many articles and listened to too many women that have been the victims of domestic abuse.  I look forward to the day when I will not have to write articles like this anymore.  But for the men that perpetrate these horrible crimes on the very people that they are supposed to love and cherish, I ask you:  When will the violence end?

J.L. Whitehead

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