Yet another reason why you should go into business for yourself - "The Briefcase Story"

When you go into business for yourself, there will be times when you will find yourself having conversations with yourself questioning your reasons for trying to accomplish what you know in your heart to be right.  You will question whether this was the right move.  You may even question your ability to be able to keep your business afloat.  It will happen I assure you, so be prepared for it.

I ask myself these questions on a semi-regular basis.  I say "semi" because I always have an answer for myself.  And the answer is always, "yes...you are doing the right thing."

You see, for years...perhaps too many to count, I was always of the mindset that I had to showcase my skill set to prove that I had value to the company that I was working for.  I thought that perhaps, it would work to my advantage to show that I had the capacity to think on my feet and address issues as they arose in a professional manner. I thought that if I could show that I had the ability to write, that would somehow translate to being promotable.  I thought that an organization would realize that they had a valuable employee and that in some way shape or form, that would lead to some type of recognition.

It didn't work out that way...and now I understand why.

Entry level positions are exactly that...entry level.  Some companies may advertise the position with words like, "opportunity for professional growth."  And in some instances, that may be true.  But the reality is that entry level positions are filled and you are expected to stay there for as long as the company wants you to stay there...period.  It doesn't matter your skill set.  It doesn't matter how you view yourself.  It only matters how the company views you, and sometimes those points can be as opposite as the north and south poles.  You can view yourself as someone that is highly promotable, but it doesn't mean anything if your company doesn't share in that same sentiment.

Years ago, I received a beautiful leather briefcase as a Christmas present.  I always wanted one, and when I received it, I was ecstatic.  Now, at the time, I wasn't a corporate executive.  I was far from it.  But still, it was a beautiful item and I really wanted to use it.

After packing the item away for a few years, I finally pulled it out and decided to take it to work with me.  It didn't matter that I didn't have a professional need for it and it didn't matter that the only thing it carried was my lunch.  It made me feel good.  And as I walked into the building with this beautiful briefcase in hand, a few people made comments about it right away.  The comments were not that the item was nice, beautiful or even where did I receive it.  Instead, it was, "you don't need that!"..."who do you think you are?"...or "so you think you're better than everyone now?"

I took the briefcase home and put it away; ashamed that I had the audacity to bring it to work in the first place because after all, the naysayers were right.  Who did I think I was?  I really didn't have a need for it.  How dare I bring something into the office that made me feel good about me.

What I realized eventually was that the people that made the snide comments about my briefcase were speaking volumes about themselves.  After all, why should a simple briefcase that had nothing to do with them cause such a reaction?  Why couldn't I feel good about me?  And what does me feeling good about me have to do with them?

I realized that this had been my problem for most of my adult life.  The more I looked for a company to validate who and what I was, the more messages that I received saying what I didn't want to hear.  The message was clear: "We value you being what we want you to be which is not what you want to be."  And the more I fought against it, the louder the message became.

Going into business for yourself should be rewarding on so many different levels.  You will have trials and tribulations.  As for me, working for myself has been good.  But one decision that I've made is to find work that will compliment my skill set as it is.  Look for work that is writing related because that is where my value is.  This is where I do my best work.  It isn't answering a phone and resolving someone's problem for them.  I am so much more than that.

I have a different briefcase now and I carry it with me because I need it to do what I do.  But even if I didn't need it, I've learned to always walk with my head held high and not to let someone define who I am.  Because you see, there are too many people that want you to feel bad about you.  And some of those people are above you professionally.

Create your own reality and be proud of who and what you are.  Remember to always keep it moving forward!  Count your blessings and rejoice in yourself!  There is nothing wrong with that...not even a little bit!

J.L. Whitehead

Why is gay marriage still an issue?

Article published on The Examiner

One week ago, President Obama announced that he was in support of same sex marriage.  And right away, this sparked a debate that in some circles was deemed as yet another way of dividing our nation.  Still, can we honestly say that we were surprised when he made his announcement?  Wasn’t this the same president that was instrumental in abolishing the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” regulation that kept so many of the LGBT community in the closet while serving in the United States Armed Forces?  Some people may be of the mindset that this was a political ploy to obtain the support of the LGBT community since we are in an election year.  Others may say that this was an attempt to address an issue that would have been addressed anyway had it not been for Vice President Joe Biden going on Meet the Press to voice his particular views on this issue.

What I don’t understand is why in this day in age is this still an issue?  Why is it that you have certain members of society so hell bent in stopping the gay agenda…or at least the perception of an agenda if indeed there is one?  I don’t understand why it matters to social conservatives just exactly who has the right to marry or not.  Why is it so important to prohibit a man from visiting his terminally ill partner if he is in the hospital?  Why is it important to stop two women from uniting together in a civil union especially if the civil union has absolutely nothing to do with you?  Why is it so important to stop some people from having the same social rights as others in this country?

I guess that I am of the mindset that I don’t really care if you are conservative or liberal as long as your actions don’t impact my way of life or compromise my pursuit of obtaining a slice of the American Dream.  I don’t have the right to tell anyone how to live their life unless in the course of them living their life, their actions cause them to harm themselves or someone else.  And in that same vein, no one has the right to tell me what I can or cannot do because ultimately, what I do and who I love has absolutely nothing to do with you.

After all, if you are socially conservative, it’s probably safe to assume that you will not be getting an invitation to the wedding.  You probably will not be attending the reception and you most definitely will not be allowed to see what takes place in the bedroom on the wedding night.

Maybe it’s the term “marriage” that bothers the conservatives.  That’s possible although I’m sure that there is more to it…especially since presidential hopeful Mitt Romney doesn’t believe in civil unions.
I understand that we are entitled to our own beliefs respectively.  We can believe what is set forth by God and church and use that interpretation as a means to support our particular belief.  Man has been doing that for centuries.  Still, the one thing that people seem to forget is the greatest attribute of God…and that attribute is love.  We are to love not only those that love us, but those that don’t.  And that’s a tall order because many of the people that deem themselves to be devout Christians and conservatives have exhibited some behaviors that can be interpreted as un-Christian if not downright hateful.

I don’t think that it is for everyone to understand everything that occurs on this planet.  I don’t think that it is for me personally to understand every aspect of humanity as we move about in this world, nor do I think that it’s anyone else’s because ultimately, at the end of the day, I’m too worried about my own imperfections and defects of character even though I’m still trying to get it right.  It’s not for me or anyone else to say who should be allowed to do what in this nation. I do understand that you are entitled to believe what you want; just as long as your belief doesn’t adversely affect someone else.

So President Obama stated that he is for same sex marriage.  All he did was validate the lives of millions of people in this country saying that they matter.  And whether you agree with him or not…it’s about time that someone stood up for the rights of everyone in this nation because ultimately, that is what makes this country great.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election-2012/president-obama-support-gay-marriage-60-announcement-sway-vote-article-1.1076986

J.L. Whitehead

What is your reality?

Article written and published on The Examiner:

Every now and then, when something weighs heavy on me and I’ve been thinking about it for a little bit of time, I’ll get something that I call a “moment of clarity”.  In that moment, whatever it is that I’ve been in a quandary about becomes crystal clear, and I understand not only why the subject has been bothering me, but I also come up with a solution for the problem.

We’re living in an age where it’s every man or woman for themselves.  You either sink or swim.  Many of us are simply treading water.  I’ve become acutely aware of those that have it considerably worse than me.  I am also aware of those that have it better.  I guess, you could say that I am part of the majority of people that are treading water; barely able to keep my head above the sea of life.  Sometimes, a wave will catch me off guard and I go under only to resurface with just enough time to catch my breath and begin the task of treading water again.  I’m sure that many of you reading this know what I mean.

One evening, I was on my way to a bar to have a nightcap after having a very good dinner with my partner.  It was a good evening.  If my memory serves me correctly, the evening had been cold…cold enough to wear gloves.  As we walked up Arch Street, we came upon a man lying on a vent.  He was wrapped in a blanket, sleeping as if he were in his own warm bed in a safe place.  The first thought that crossed my mind was, “when was the last time this man had a meal?”   I walked across the street to a nearby WaWa and purchased him a sandwich, a piece of fruit, some chips and a carton of milk or juice.  I returned to him and placed the bag by his side and in that moment, he looked up at me and said, “Thank You.”  I went about my business feeling satisfied that I had done the right thing until I stopped for another moment to think…it was that moment of clarity of again.  The act of giving wasn’t about me and I didn’t have the right to feel joy or pride.  The act of giving wasn’t about making me feel good about me…it was about doing what I was supposed to do.  There should have been nothing extraordinary about performing that simple act of kindness.  That should be the norm, not the exception.

You see, being homeless and going without life’s basic necessities to live in dignity was this man’s reality…and I understood that.  Even with me having very little, I still have a roof over my head and a warm bed to go home to.  At that moment, it wasn’t about me.  I understood that at that moment, I was my brother’s keeper.

Now as I write this, I’m thinking, “what if everyone did just a little bit to help those that can’t help themselves?”  We can think of so many reasons why we shouldn’t give.  We can say to ourselves that the person in need probably did something to deserve the circumstances that they’re in.  We can say to ourselves that the person in need will probably feed some other habit before they feed themselves with the money that we may give.  We may even say that I have it so bad that I am one paycheck away from joining that person living on the street.  And all of the reasons listed above are valid.

But in the same breath, we can also think of reasons to give.  We can say to ourselves that it is the right thing to do because we really don’t know what that person’s circumstances are.  We don’t know if that person contributed to their poverty.  We can guess, but we really don’t know for sure unless we ask them.  And the simple reality of it all is that we don’t care enough to ask.

So I ask you now…what is your reality and could you do something to change someone else’s even if it’s for a moment?

 

 

How to donate to a homeless shelter link listed below:

http://www.ehow.com/about_4570531_donating-homeless-shelters.html

J.L.Whitehead