I've spent years in an emotional space that I acknowledge wasn't good for me. It took me years to realize that what I had dismissed as normal should never have been looked at through my minds lens at all. If I had realized where I was, I probably could have saved myself a lot of aggravation and frustration.
One of the reasons why I started writing this blog was to chronicle my journey into the literary industry. I wanted to write down what I went through so that when it comes time for me to claim what I believe is mine, I will embrace it completely and without reservation. I would be able to share my steps with any other author who may be able to recognize that they share a similar story even if our particular paths are somewhat different.
Many of my posts have nothing to do with writing at all. But they are relevant because as I make my way through this industry, I find that I am changing in every way possible. Because of that, I want to share those changes with you as well.
I'm finding that as I change, people that I surround myself with change. Their circumstances change. What they need from you and what you may need from them change as well. As a result, the way you deal with each other morphs into something else than what was originally intended. Sometimes they are for the better, and sometimes they aren't.
I used to reside in an emotional space where I was always responding to someone's actions, whether it be verbal, emotional or physical. Now my space has changed. I find myself being the cause of someone reacting to me as opposed to me simply responding to something that someone may have done or said. I believe they call this "taking command of your own destiny."
I find myself now more than ever not really caring what you think of me because if it isn't portraying me in my best light, you're probably going to think that way anyway no matter what I do or say. Some people are like that. I used to be one of them.
But what I'm finding is that when people let you down (and you know from time to time that they will), you can react differently. You can step back instead of eliminating them depending on the value that you once placed on them.
You can focus on who you are as well as what you know yourself to be and rest secure in the knowledge that whomever is giving you a difficult way to go may have their reasons, whether they are real or not. After all, perception is 99% reality.
I'm learning to implement this into my business dealings. Let your "yes" be "yes" and let your "no" be "no". Know when to compromise as long as it isn't your personal business ethic.
Life is simply too short to waste on people that won't lift you up. Sometimes, you have to rely on yourself...and as long as you've given it everything you've got, then at the end of the day, be happy with a job well done. And if you didn't give it your all, well, there's always tomorrow!
J.L. Whitehead
